The Bible on Abuse

The Bible on Spouse Abuse and Divorce

Matthew 18:15-17

1 Corinthians 7:1-16

• The Bible only gives 2 justifications for Divorce:
• unfaithfulness  (Matthew 5:32)
• abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7)
  Thus we can see that God “Hates Divorce” (His words, not mine!) Malachi 2:16
• I see three phases of remediation for the abusive (or otherwise sin-plagued) marriage:
• Christ-centered counseling (Matt 12:35 focusing on the spiritual condition of the heart, not the slap or the outburst). Undertake this step early and often!
• temporary separation  (for the physical safety of the abused) with every effort made to bring reconciliation and repentance.
• this forces a choice on the abuser: real repentance, or leaving for good
• Same process as church discipline (Matthew 18:15-17, 2Thes3:14, 1Cor5:3-5)
• Separation may last a long time. It will result in:
• Real repentance and, after a time of trust-building, reconciliation
• unbelieving partner will  offer insincere, or unreliable repentance, keeping the marriage in separation phase.
• unbelieving partner will be unfaithful to the marriage
• unbelieving partner will abandon the believing partner and seek divorce
• Remarriage:
• not to be sought by the leaving partner (except for unrepented unfaithfulness)
• put plainly: if believer leaves unbeliever, believer may not remarry
• OK only if the believer has been abandoned by the unbelieving spouse.
• What if you are already divorced and remarried?
• From whatever place you find yourself, do it GOD’s way this time. Moving forward, place your current marriage subject to God’s Word and seek to humbly fulfill your duty toward your spouse

Our standard of behavior should be:

• Ephesians 5:33 says the husband must love his wife, and the wife must respect her husband. It states this as an imperative command, because this is a difficult task. One is as undeserving of “unconditional respect” as the other is of “unconditional love”
• That’s why God commands us to give love and respect. In our culture, “unconditional love” is understood, but “unconditional respect” is a RADICAL message and call for wives. It is a powerful motivator for a husband.
• Ask God to reveal to you the ways you have been unloving or disrespectful toward your spouse. Repent of your attitudes and offer apology before you bring your spouse to counseling.

To those who say, “This is TOO hard!” God calls us to do hard things, and do them HIS way.